I'm not a hard guy to please. I would like a lot, but I accept what I have. Over the last couple months, though, I just seem to be stuck in a "life" quicksand. I want more, and want to DO more, but the more I try, the deeper I seem to sink.
I stopped playing World of Warcraft. It just got to the point that I could not be bothered to log in. That and poker were the two things I stuck with the longest, at least a couple years for each. I would still be playing poker but for the incredible frustration that is part and parcel of the game. Who knows, I may start back up, as I still have a lot of interest in the game, and to be honest, I was a decent player. My winnings outweighed my loses by a large margin. I kept detailed records, so I could justify spending the money.
WoW seems more of a grind now than anything else, and the guild drama was still going on hot guns. I check the forums now and again, but things in the guild seem to be grinding to a halt. I am not sure I will even buy the next expansion. In fact, I will probably cancel my sub in the next few days. It is just a bit difficult to finally pull the plug.
I am playing Conan now with the new guild, and I am having fun with the game. There is still guild drama, but this is a large guild, so it is not as impactful. There are still a number of issues with the game, but it is so gorgeous, and the possibilities are tremendous. I am going to stick with this one for a while. I am playing a Bear Shaman, a sort of hybrid dps/healer. Healing in this game is much less powerful. Also, this is a pvp-oriented game, and we are on a pvp server. I never did pvp in WoW; so much there depended on macros and fast twitch and jumping around like a freak. At least in Conan in is more friendly to us "no-longer-in-our-20's" folks.
Writing? Well, the desire is still there, but the motivation is not. I like telling stories, but I wonder if I am just to f**king lazy to do it. I know there are people who think writing is a piece of cake. I have done some, and "the cake is a lie." I can't make myself any more promises about writing, because I hate when I don't come through. Lying to yourself is just pathetic, and I would rather face myself and say, "You just ain't got it, son", than keep playing that same sad song. Something
pbray said struck a chord. Her writing was being hit because she was using her creativity at work. I just have so much stuff in my head right now. I honestly think if I could force myself to write it might help me, but it is getting to that point through all the chaff that seems so difficult now.
Despite my handle, I am not grossly obese. I could stand to lose probably 30 or so pounds. I made headway a few months ago, but I seem to have drifted back into bad habits. Oh, I'll just have a few potato chips, a couple M&Ms won't hurt. My father has an issue with food. I am not sure I would quite class it as an addiction, but it is close. I always thought I was much more mentally strong than that, but lately I have begun to question that assertion. Again, finding the mental energy to refocus is hard, slippery as a soaped-up baby in the shower.
And with that we segue to a bright spot. We had the granddaughter this weekend. Being a father is tough, even though our daughter was such a good kid that I know I had it easy. Being a granddad is just about the greatest job in the world. Chloe is so lovely, and fun, even at three and a half months. I can't wait to do all those grandad things with her as she grows up. We even gave her her first shower this weekend, thus the soapy baby reference. Our son-in-law is a bit leery of giving the baby a shower, mostly because our daughter is a bit of a klutz. And yes, she is, she gets it form her mother. He has a vision of the baby squirting out to swan dive into the tub floor. I am sure they will work it out.
But in the meantime, their car needs to be repaired, and that means Dad has to buy the car a new engine. [Well, Dad and Mom, she does work hard, too.] And they have some issues meeting all their bills, so I will need to help them out a bit. It isn't that I mind, it's just that I thought by this time in our lives we would be in a different place. Instead, we still take care of my dad, and we have not been able to afford to do the things we want. We have never, in our married life, traveled somewhere on vacation just for us. It has always been vacations at home. Meh, you don't need to hear this crap.
We did ok at the dancing competition. We did have a lot of fun. They were very nice to the competitors, with towels in the ballroom, lots and lots of cold water, and a hospitality suite with snacks and drinks. One thing I have decided is that we are not doing Rhythm and/or Latin in lessons from this point forward. I want to stick with Smooth and move into Standard. The hip-wiggly stuff is not for me. We can take group lessons for the latin stuff just so we can add a few moves to our repertoire. We have taken a couple weeks off from lessons and will go back to one a week when we go back next week. We did go to the USA Dance event yesterday and really had fun. We did a quick waltz and we were spinning around the floor. My wife loved that.